Memory Lane

Originally Posted at the Beginning of August 2011...

I have just been looking at Prompt 2 of the Blogging For Scrapbookers course by Shimelle Laine, so after a bit of thinking here is 'Post 2'.

I remember a picture of me sitting on a boat, taken some where on the Norfolk Broads while on holiday with Mum & Dad.  I'm not sure, but I think that I might have had a book in my hands (that happened a lot back then :) ). I would have been about 19 or 20 as the holidays on the boat were after my anxiety came to the surface.

Edited: I could not find the picutre I remembered, so I asked my Mum to have a look.  It turns out that the picutre I remembered was with my Mum sitting on the boat and not me - but I know that I did the same thing during the holiday (and yes Mum was reading as well :) ). Here is the picture any way, as well of one including me...

This is the original picutre I had in mind - but featured my Mum and not me

I am on the left and my Mum is on the right - Dad would have been behind the camera

Looking back on that picture my thoughts go in 2 different directions:

1. What I was like then - I was shy, timid and would not have said boo to a goose.  I was struggling to live with my anxiety and at times I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.  My main escape was reading, when I got lost in a storyline my anxiety would just melt away - until I returned back to the real world!!
2. What I am like now - I would not only say boo to the goose, I would probably tell it off too LOL.  Yes, many years later and lots of hard work later, I have finally won the battle with anxiety.  I still have my bad days, but on the whole I have made it!! My life is different in so many ways & I am able to cope with things that would have sent me into a shivering wreck back then.

I really must find the photo I am thinking off and create an electronic copy, if nothing else to find out if I did have my nose in a book.

Looking back to myself then, would I have ever thought that I would be sitting here now writing my feelings & memories in a Blog? - let alone have got married, traveled around the world and done 101 other things that are part of normal life!

NO WAY!!!!! - the me you see now has been shaped by all of my experiences over the years, including the anxiety. 

I can see things changing in the future, after all the world changes and we have to adapt too.  But change does not scare me like it once did, I now embrace change and move on to bigger & better things.